There are two bits of truth about God which you must understand:
First, that God does love you unconditionally:
that is, His love is always reaching out to you
no matter what your attitude is towards Him.
Second, when you were born, He gave you a Guardian Angel to look out for His interests in your life. (Matthew 18 : 10)

The other thing you need to know is that you do have an enemy, Satan,
who has assigned to your life his equivalent of a Guardian Angel.
This being is called a Strong Man.
This Strong Man is the one responsible for the terrible happenings
for which you may be blaming God.

This is what Jesus said about him in Luke 11 :
21 "When a strong man, armed to the teeth, stands guard in his front yard,
his property is safe and sound.
22 But what if a stronger man comes along with superior weapons?
Then he's beaten at his own game,
the arsenal that gave him such confidence hauled off,
and his precious possessions plundered.
(Message Bible)

Before you know Jesus as your Saviour,
your life is the palace that the Strong Man keeps under his power.

BUT ...