There are two bits of truth about God which you must understand:
First, that God does love you unconditionally – that is, His love is always reaching out to you no matter what your attitude is towards Him.
Second, when you were born, He gave you a Guardian Angel to look out for His interests in your life. (Matthew 18 : 10)

The other thing you need to know is that you do have an enemy, Satan, who has assigned to your life his equivalent of a Guardian Angel. This being is called a Strong Man. This Strong Man is the one responsible for the terrible happenings for which you may be blaming God.

This is what Jesus said about him in Luke 11 : 21 & 22:

“When a Strong Man, fully armed, guards his own palace,
his goods are in peace.
But when a Stronger that he comes upon him
and overcomes him,
He takes from him all his armour in which he trusted,
and divides his spoils (plunder).”

Before you know Jesus as your Saviour, your life is the palace that the Strong Man keeps under his power.

BUT ...